Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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