how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
did i walk over a car last night?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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