Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
