where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
