We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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