Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
