Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
