I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
