I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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