Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
