Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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