Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
