It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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