we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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