Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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