haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
as a side note pls kill me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
