i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
