I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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