I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
