also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
