So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
