she was so not down for the gang bang
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So many bounce houses so little time
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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