You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
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