I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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