he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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