He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
