Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
