awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
