Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
