i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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