omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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