Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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