Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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