Are we in a gay sports bar?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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