is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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