I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am one with the molecules
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
