I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize