That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
