It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
