Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
