Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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