Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
