I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
