Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we're making bets on your personal life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
