She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
