i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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