the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
