we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
