So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think I sprained my soul last night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize