TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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