put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
