I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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