Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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