There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize