I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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