what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
