pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize