i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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