You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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