he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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