I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
