this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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