...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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