omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
