Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
