your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
