i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
