apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
