Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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