You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Two words: blizzard sex
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
