why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
